#Record of Ragnarok incorrect quotes

[bones4thecats]

When you try messing with your adopted sibling...

Adamas: Hey, let’s mess with Y/N, guys! Zeus: Hey, Y/N, your mama's so fat- Reader: My mom committed multiple war crimes and is now locked in solitary confinement in a Valhallan prison. Adamas: Well, uh- your dad- Reader: My father left when I was two to be captured and consequentially sacrificed by a group of feral ferrets. Poseidon: The fuck- Zeus: Well then... Hades: Stop it, Zeus! Zeus: Your grandparents are so- Reader: My grandmother floated into the sky like a balloon with too much helium when my grandfather spontaneously combusted. The Olympian Brothers: ... Reader: You cannot best me, brothers.

[hannah-the-red-head]

Brunhilde: WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE GODS HAPPENED?!! Adam: *lying on a hospital bed with a broken arm, a black eye and many bruises* Kojiro: *Sitting uncomfortably in a chair with a bag of ice on his crotch and a neck cast* Buddha: *covered in a full body cast aside from his head* Lu Bu: *had his jaw wired shut, both arms and a leg broken* Nikola: *in a wheelchair with a broken leg and neck, holding an ice pack on his head* Owww… Jack: *in a medically induced coma* Raiden: *covered head to toe in bandages with a broken arm and a neck brace* I said it was a bad idea!! But noooo, Dr. Nikola “Let’s test that theory” Tesla just had to prove that an Elevator made by the gods must have a weight limit exceeding 2000 lbs!!

[recreationalfanfics]

RoR x Reader Incorrect Quotes But It's Tik Tok Audios (Pt.2):

(Y/n), upon seeing Thor: Is this say yes to the dress OR SAY YES TO THE SLUT!? IS THIS SAY YES TO THE SLUT-

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Brunhilde: (Y/n), you have to stop trying to interfere in the battles and help the humans!

Gen Z! Valkyrie! (Y/n): Miss me with that gay shit!

Hrist: WHAT GAY SHIT!? THE RULES!?!?

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Buddha, when Yandere! Loki casually makes (Y/n) fall for him in that one-shot I wrote: Damn...Someone took my bitch.

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Göll, with Hercules: I just wanted to say, I got you a boyfriend.

Human Champion! Male! (Y/n), whose fighting inner gay demons: I don't want a boyfriend- I'M NOT GAY.

Göll: Yes you are.

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Diety! (Y/n) who has a crush on Thrud but sees her bonded with Raiden: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! KILL 'IM NOW!

Diety (Y/n): I GOTTA HUNDRED THOUSAND FOR WHOEVER BLOW THAT BITCH'S BRAINS OUT!!!!

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(Y/n), as Sasaki is hanging off of a cliff: SASAKI, YOU'RE TOO HEAVY.

Sasaki: PRETEND I'M ONE OF YOUR GOD FRIENDS, (Y/N).

(Y/n): *loosens their grip*

Sasaki: NOT POSEIDON, NOT POSEIDON-

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(Y/n), after the Ares hangs Jack by his cape on a super tall building: STOP PUTTING HIM UP THERE! ONE OF THESE DAYS HE'S JUST GONNA SAY: "FUCK IT" AND COME ON DOWN AND BUST HIS HEAD OPEN!

Ares: GOOD!

[kyat-kyat]

Incorrect Record of Ragnarok Quotes #4

Humanities version

[justamegafan]

Record of Ragnarok Incorrect Quote #1

She only speaks the Truth

F!Y/N: Unpopular opinion, not all dogs are good boys

Hades: Blocked

F!Y/N: Some are good girls

Hades: Unblocked

F!Y/N speaks the truth, and unknowingly ends up with an admirer from afar…

[luxthestrange]

RoR Incorrect quotes#188 No thoughts head empty stare

Y/n*Sitting beside him giggles seeing your villager and his villager from Animal Crossing get married* Til death do us part, right, Puppy?

Anubis*Who thinks they're actually married now and grins at you* It's cute you think death can separate us~

[chaostroberry1]

Apollo, in a seductive mouth watering outfit, leaning on the doorframe, winking and hinting at something : "(m/n)~ I'll be good tonight and sleep all by myself while I wait for you, okay~♥?"

(M!name), in a meeting with a few gods, incredibly oblivious : "alright! Sleep well. goodnight, dear!"

Apollo : "better join me soon~♥" *walks away to the bedroom*

The gods who just witnessed the BS : "😧"

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I got this from that death note scene of misa in a sexy outfit, obviously hinting at light on "stuff" she wanna do later. Motherfucker did not understand what she meant ☠️

[harusaki-hugo]

ROR Incorrect Quotes!!

Y/n: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste Zerofuku: We got spring water Y/n: NO. Buddha: with EXTRA minerals Zerofuku: it's like licking a stalagmite Y/n: DON'T COME HOME. Buddha: Mmmmm cave water

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Y/n: Buddha and I are having a baby. Zerofuku: That's gre- Y/n, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

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Y/n: What did you do with Hades's body? QSH: What didn’t I do with the body? Y/n: QSH: Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the corpse respectfully.

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Y/n: You have to apologize to QSH Hades: Fine. Hades: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

[incorrect-record-of-ragnarok]

Random Spectator: I love you, Emperor Qin! Qin: [points] And I love you, random citizen!

[xx-lemon-drop-xx]

(Y/n): Me and Buddha are having a baby.

Zerofuku: Oh that's great! I'm so happy for yo-

(Y/n): *Aggressively slams down adoption papers* It's you, sign here.

[thekingwhereitallends]

Hades:Look who is back!

Anubis:(leaps towards Hades and wraps arms around his neck) I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!

Hades:I believe you.

Anubis:I HAVE BEEN A GOOD BOY AND NEVER REALLY HURT ANYONE!

Hades:You are not just a good boy. You are the best boy around

Anubis:I EVEN WATCHED OVER HELHEIM AND PLAYED WITH CERBERUS!

Hades:You're too sweet,Anubis.

Hades:(pats Anubis on top of head)

Anubis:Welcome home,Hades.

Hades:Thank you,Anubis.

[lilithizhere]

Incorrect Quotes #1

RoR Modern!Household with Child/Teen!Reader:

Adam:Hey has anyone seen Y/N?

Shiva:Nope

Lu Bu:No

Eve:No sorry

Adam:Fuck...

Hermes:If I may ask why are you looking for them?

Adam:They stole Ares sword and Ares is crying about it and I don't want them to hurt themselves.

Ares:*Crying* My sword!! That little Gremlin!!*sobs*

Meanwhile:

Y/n:Fuck Yeah I have his sword!!!

[recreationalfanfics]

Record of Ragnarok x Reader but It's Tik Tok Audios (pt 3)

You: Father...Am I ugly?

Adam, as he hugs you: What nonsense. I'm looking at you right now, you're the most beautiful person in the heavens♡

Loki: Uncle, am I ugly?

Odin: Yes, very much.

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You, texting someone: I don't know what to say.

Brunhilde: Here let me do it.

You:...Don't be mean about it, though.

Brunhilde: *deletes paragraph*

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Au where (Y/n) is Poseidon's equally moody and emo child

You: WHEN DID YOU SUDDENLY BECOME UNCOOL!?

Poseidon: WHEN DID YOU START ACTING LIKE A LITTLE BABY WHO SCREAMS AT ME WHENEVER THEY DON'T GET WHAT THEY WANT!?

You: RIGHT AFTER YOU DON'T GIVE ME WHAT I WANT!!

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Raiden: You can't run around like a footless chicken.

You: HEADLESS chicken, big guy.

Raiden: Uh, NO! How's a chicken supposed to run without its head!?

You: How's it supposed to run with no feet?

Raiden: I'M NOT A CHICKEN, (Y/N), WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME ALL THESE QUESTIONS!?

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Zeus: SOMEOME SHOULD PUT YOU IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL!

You: SOMEONE SHOULD PUT YOU IN A BOX FLOATING DOWN THE RIVER, G R A N D P A

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You, a new diety: So, what do you guys do for fun around here?

Loki: I dunno, I usually just throw shit at Shiva now.

You: Whose Shiva?

Loki, throwing a water bottle: YO SHIVA!

Shiva, whose STILL RECOVERING FROM R A I D E N: Yeah- *gets hit*

[kittybutter]

More SNV incorrect quotes haha

Buddha: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes.

Loki: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD.

Buddha: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time?

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Buddha: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?

Loki: *chugs entire bottle*

Loki: It’s perfume.

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Thor: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean?

Lü Bu: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans.

Thor: but what’s the first worst thing?

*Awkward pause*

Lü Bu: Thor, they...they weren’t always orphans.

Thor:

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Thor: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Lü Bu: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Thor: Absolutely not.

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Buddha: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Zerofuku: You mean literally or figuratively?

Buddha: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

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Buddha: That’s one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut...

Zerofuku: You would eat yourself?

Buddha: I wouldn’t even question it.

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Buddha, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me

Loki, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.

[justamegafan]

Record of Ragnarok Incorrect Quote #24

Hera and Zeus

Y/N is welcoming Hercules to join her, Hermes and her ‘surprise’ guest to have dinner, with Ares tagging along to get ‘dirt’ on Y/N

Y/N: Welcome! I’m your host, Y/N L/N

Hercules: Oh, it’s very nice to meet you!

Zeus (Storms over): Get away Human! Your not taking my children!

Hercules: Zeus?

Zeus: The Gods need Hercules on our side to fight. He’s one of our top fighters, and he’s very popular with the children

Hera (Slams door open): ZEUUUS!!! (Looks at Y/N and smiles) Y/N…

Zeus: Hera?! What are you doing at… the human side?!

Hera (Annoyed): Zeus, as goddess of Marriage and Women, I supervise everyone within my area

Zeus: You’re. . . overseeing other people?

Hera (Sarcastic): I’m sorry if you misunderstand our arrangement

Zeus: What am I supposed to tell our children?!

Hera: They Hercules and Hermes already knew, and they’re happy for me

Ares only came along to find some ‘dirt’ on Y/N to show his mother that she’s not right for her… only to end up liking Y/N and is actually looking forward to seeing her again…

Still based off of @sketchy-owl Hera!

[luxthestrange]

RoR Incorrect quotes#121 Go away papa

Daddy Poseidon + Atheist!Y/n had twins...And the babies got all their features from Poseidon...and straight up don't like him-...hell even in your belly the moment Poseidon put his hand on your belly they KICK it off you as if going "GET YOUR DISCUTING HANDS OFF MUMMY"-...normally the twins didn't kick or move a lot like they knew your uncomfy...the twins don't like many only cute and cuddly with you but there are surprising...special exceptions...like uncle hades, kojiro,Heracles and... Adamas both twins smile at him-...pathetic dad Poseidon is all I want-

Zeus*Looking at the twin's who are the carbon copy of him wrapped in little burritos sucking their binkies...only a month old-*...They attack?

Poseidon*Holding his twins in arms with bags under his eyes*...Worse

Twins*looking at Zeus like he is the scum of the earth,heaven n Hell, up and down unimpressed by him*...

Poseidon:-They JUDGE you...

Zeus:...

...Dunno what their names be-